I suppose different people have their own ideas concerning age and aging and, after all, it is subjective to an extent. Sixty is the new forty, etc.
Yet those sort of statements are made by the baby boomer generation born in the late forties/early fifties era. Having read history I have concluded that those that were of fighting age in the Second World War represent the best generation this country has ever produced, though one could say the same of previous generations in the 20th century. Taking the baby boomers as a whole, in a generalistic sense; They represent, to me, one of the worst generations ever produced: Harsh? Maybe, but they were born into the beginning of a National Health System and enjoyed the benefits of that, yet began to dismantle it as soon as they reached the age where they were in power. The same with free education. They grew up in the “wonderful” decade of the sixties. A period of liberalism, perhaps, but also one of complete and utter selfishness. They had the party and left the clearing up to succeeding generations. In a nutshell, they have had the best of everything. The things previous generations had fought for, they then systematically ensured most of it was not available to those that came after them. That is pretty selfish.
Anyway I have digressed radically from the original point of this post, I think the point I have been pondering is that it is fine for that generation to celebrate longer life and sixty being the new forty, but the life expectancy of more recent generations is, actuallly, decreasing.
Right, what I was originally going to write about. I’m beginning to feel old! I guess it doesn’t help that I can look back on a life that was badly lived and, for the most part, pointless. Too many regrets to ever feel any different to be honest. I never forged a career, I never wanted to slave at a nine to five (what does that mean? Most people now work 8-8, 24-7, 365-65). I went my own way, pursued my own things. I realise I was lucky to be in a position to do so, but then I missed out on, or sacrificed a lot to do it. I have no house of my own, I am single with a pretty useless romantic history. They say there is someone out there for everyone, well, I am not sure I can say I concur, but I can say that the most tragic situation is to meet someone you, at least, feel deep in your heart is a person you could spend the rest of your soul with and have them say the same to you, in not so many words, and then to discover that it was all false. All false, right down to the finest details. Not even Thomas Hardy could pen something that tragic. You can die of a broken heart, it has been proven medically speaking. What happens is that it takes the hope out of your heart, the Will from your spirit and the energy from your body. You know there is no point to any of it anymore. I am wise enough to believe that you should not allow someone else to affect you so profoundly, not to hand you power to someone else (they will always exploit and mis-use it anyway) but if you truly loved someone….not the fake, false, selfish, stupid, childish “love” that pervades most of TV and modern conciousness. I mean…loved the very core of someone, despite their frailties….because of their frailties. Accepted them for who they were, their human faults, their good points, their bad points. I failed more times than I should have to understand and accept her as she was but then, I am human too, and I have my insecurities, my faults. It is the realisation that there is no point, no point in thinking about it, knawing through the “What Ifs” or, indeed, writing this,
Thing is, I was rubbish with getting together with women when I was young and fit, and now I am getting old! Rich and old might have worked, but I am poor too, so guess I am stuffed. I still look younger than I am, I think….I am told….still have hair, no massive paunch…yet….and suffering from Chronic fatigue makes you feel old because of the joint and muscle ache. I am, most people would declare, still a young man, but I feel it is all already over. Life done and dusted, nothing to look forward too now.
